Tommy's Awesomely Coolish Journal

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May. 23rd, 2005

09:39 pm - its about that time again

wow i forgot i even had this but i need to write/type some stuff so this will do nicely.

Where to start, where to start.... I guess the beginning of my troubles goes back to a week before last friday with carowinds and the dance. Alright so that day was f'ing awesome carowinds was a blast, i'd never been before so everything was awesome, the borg was the best ride ever and it was definitely like the greatest day of my life. So then we all get back on the buses and head back to Hammond where we are gonna eat and watch like a slide show of pictures that were taken throughout our middle school years, get our yearbooks, and then have a dance. Supper was good slide show was fine but then... yearbooks. Honestly i didn't expect it to end up as emotional as it did so i decided to sign Sarah's first. Half way through signing it i just got hit by how big of a change going to boarding school is gonna be and I'll be admit, it made me cry. So I go and sit in the gym mostly by myself wishin everyone would leave me alone so i could be by myself for a little while, i found a soccer ball and just kicked it at the wall because that makes me feel better. But anyway, Sarah came in and cheered me up some and told me the dance was starting so i should head back over there. So on the way back Sarah just kinda popped and told me that she loved me and i dunno it just took me by surprise and normally it wouldve been great but the timing as just so off. I don't know what she expected me to do or what she is expecting me to do she knows that im going out with sally, that i love sally, and that im happy with sally so i dont know what she wants me to do. But anyway the dance was fine, it was emotional but it was fun other than the whole sarah thing sitting in the back of my mind. So I told sally about it and we talked about it and i couldn't sleep that night until 4 in the morning because it was bothering me so much. Next morning i called sarah and talked to her and things seemed to be better she told me that last night was just really emotional and thats the only way she could let it all out, so we talked for a while and things seemed to be better.


Or so i thought....



The whole subject has kinda blown over until tonight when i was talking to AD and he told me how nothing is fine yet and how Sarah feels the same as she did and i've known in the back of my head all along that it wasn't over i guess i just needed someone to tell me it for sure. That's where i am now, sitting here stressing over exams, worrying over what to do, and really wishing i had someone to talk to about this whole thing... OK i feel better now... kinda.


Whatever i can't handle all of this right now, I'm going to sleep

Current Mood: angry

Current Music: live forever by oasis

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Jan. 5th, 2005

09:58 pm - Keep on smiling, what we go through

wow i just read jordans post about thinking bak on stuff and i got hit with some major flashbacks. I mean it wasnt just flashbacks from this summer it was flashbacks from when i was 8 and danced in the living room to baha men when no1 was home, hearin semi-charmed life and gettin third eye blinds cd, ridin around in the backyard on my powerwheels truck, holdin my nephews for the first time, before i came to hammond and life was simple and great. And thats y this summer was so great we became a group of people who didnt care wut any1 else thought and loved every1 else to death, we didnt have to worry about rumors or drama we just had fun and were kids. I really envy my nephews now i mean they r 5 and 3 wut ages were greater than that? I mean everything was new, everything was fun, and nothinjg u did ever got in trouble.... god i miss those days.

O well i just felt like writin that

Current Mood: thoughtful

Current Music: semi-charmed life by third eye blind

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Dec. 27th, 2004

07:24 pm

alright christmas is basically over for my family...

it went pretty good this year every1 actually seemed to get along even christmas eve at cooks mountain was fun. i got some good stuff to the best was a weight set, chappeles show 1st season dvd, and some pimptastic oakleys. then yesterday we went to the grandparents house for lunch and all the cousins my age ended up spending the night over here,surprisingly we had a lotta fun and mac didnt piss any1 off like he normally does... i dunno every1 thinks he has some sorta social disorder but the more i talk to him the more i think he doesnt hav any1 thats ever actually listened to him......... but i dunno

neway every1 left round 1 and then me and nancy went to go see meet the fockers haha that movies hilarious the best part is when the baby heres gaylord (hha thats the funniest name ever(i kno they call him greg most of the time but gaylord is so much cooler) say asshole and he repeats it so its the babys first word! and the baby says it all long to its asssssssssssssss hooooooooooooooooole.

ok thats all

Current Mood: content

Current Music: like toy soldiers

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Dec. 10th, 2004

05:46 pm - bet yall thought my lj was gone 4ever

woo havent updated for real in wut few months now... dang thats a long time yet it still feels just like yesterday i dunno lately things seem like they r comin so fast it feels like it should still b summer and mayb it should b id probably b much happier if it was.... but o well christmas is almost here yay and i finally can get away from every1 at hammond or at least the ones i want to

last night i couldnt sleep and i was just lyin their starin at the ceiling thinking and askin my self questions like y do i feel like their is something missing in my life, y cant their b at least one day at hammond when i dont get dissed for somethin i say, y cant i go to sleep. i was also thinkin bout last summer and how jordan and catherine and jessica are all sayin how much ive changed and such and i was wonderin y dont i feel like ive changed... and then it hit me hammond does this to me it forces me to put up a shield and watch everything i say and b sure that their isnt any way that some1 will take it the wrong way, tell some1 else who will tell some1 else until the whole school knows bout it. I guess im not forced to do it but i cant help it thats just how i am but wut sux about it is once i get home its hard to put down that shield and act normal i just get in the habit of cuttin other people down b/c if i dont then im the one who gets it instead and i kno that thats wrong but thats just how it is. So i guess the point im tryin to make is this if ur one of my good friends and every1 who reads this probably is if i say somethin mean to u and i dont realize it just know i really dont mean it. Hopefully after the holidays r over ill b bak to my old self that yall all kno and love

newayz i just really felt like writin that down but now me mater is havin her xmas party for all the people at the college she works at so i gots to go and help with that

Current Mood: good

Current Music: numb/encore by jay-z and linkin park

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Nov. 28th, 2004

12:05 am

pissed as hell at whoever the fuck decided that it would b alright to break my trust and use my password to put a whole bunch of shit on this and then get on my s/n and talk to people and make it seem like im gay whoever the fuck did this better just fess up cuz then i might forgive him or her but i swear if i figure out who did it..... its gonna b really bad

Current Mood: pissed off

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Aug. 31st, 2004

10:31 pm

wow for 10:30 i am really tired i seriosuly cannot wait til this weekend so i can finally get a lil rest even though i have a soccer tournament in atlanta so i wont get that much sleep. Neways today is tuesday... gotta b the hardest day of the week for me at least cuz i hav football practice then go straight to soccer afterwards and then dont get home til 8:30 o well at least we hav study hall first thing tomorrow so i dont hav to worry bout gettin lal my homewrok done


i went over to jordans house a few days ago and hung out w/ her catherine and john.... i swear to god she is the only house in existence with an elevator in it that this is so awesome. her theatre is really cool to but by far the coolest thing at her house was her dog its like a fat wener dog sorta thing and it is jsut plain awesome.

im to tired to write anythin else right now so ill jsut write later (mayb)
-tommy

Current Mood: sore

Current Music: 1985 by bowling for soup

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Aug. 22nd, 2004

08:57 pm

today i got back from the tournament in charlotte which we won of course none of the games were that close cept for the finals and one of the qualifiers

umm i got mvp and scored 6 goals on one of the goals though i celebrated so much that i thought i was goin to faint. ok so wut happened is i got a goal early in the game and we were up 1-0 for most of the game but the ref was tryin to make us lose not real sure y but anyway he gave the other team a penalty kick with about 1 minute left and they scored it so we were tied 1-1 w/o much time left.....i was pissed so as soon as we kick off i get the ball and just start runnin with it. i got fouled and the off the free kick i headed it in w/ 5 seconds left. So after that i started celebratin like ive never celebrated b4 it was so long.


so anyway ive got school tomorrow..... o well there isnt any class i dont like except for math cuz it gets borin.................................... crap i just remembered i hav to finish math so im gona go do that
later
-tommy

Current Mood: excited

Current Music: back where i come from by kenny chesney

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Aug. 17th, 2004

09:44 pm

havent written in a while and jordan wants me to so here we go

umm i had a scrimamge agaisnt lexington a few days ago we won that 6-1 i got 3 goals i liked scorin on them cuz they r my old team and i hate their coach!

anyway thoams spent the night last night that was fun we watched wrestlin played video games he tried to beat me in soccer.... he lost. o yea and on monday i think it was i got up nice and early so i could go to starbux with carolyn and sarah at 9:30 it was pretty fun cept for i was tired and really out of it but o well im still glad i got to hang out with them.

ummm not much else has happened in my boring life i had soccer practice tongith and i still hav to do one of my book reports im lookin forward to that so much.... not

ill write later if anythin important happens
-tommy

Current Mood: cheerful

Current Music: if you ever stop loving me by montgomery gentry

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Aug. 14th, 2004

01:42 pm

ok last night was the jamboree thing it was fun, i didnt really pay much attention to the games though, but no1 ever does mostly i just hung out with carolyn and sarah. i feel really bad though cuz i didnt spend hardly any time with jordan and catherine and i meant to i dunno how to describe how bad i feel bout that.

this mornin sarah called round 10:30 cuz she rode her bike 26 miles which is incredible specially cuz i dont think i could go more than like 5. after that i called carolyn and we talked for a while i hope me and her go out for a long time cuz i really like her alot. jordans leavin today to go to the beach so i probably wont get to talk to her for a while which sux.

im probably goin over to sarah's house later today to make brownies. i havent had brownies in 4ever and she said somethin bout makin candles to... dont really kno how to but o well itll b fun hangin out with her.

shool starts on thursday.... and i still hav to finish a book do all the reports and the math packet so i better go and get started on that stuff
-tommy

p.s i hav no clu wut quixotic means i jsut wanted to se wut the icon was

Current Mood: quixotic

Current Music: so sexy by twista and r kelly

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Aug. 13th, 2004

12:40 pm

ok im mostly writin cuz jordan is forcin me 2

lets see.. yesterday was awesome i went to lee nails and sat through sarah and carolyn gettin a pedicure y do girls get those anyway i dont think any1 really cares wut their feet look like but anyway after that we went to baskin robbins then we went over to sarahs. carolyn almost got hit by a car twice but she syas its ok to run in front of cars b/c they always stop....... if she gets hit by a car ill laugh but then ill probably feel sorry for her cuz gettin hit by a car probably hurts

we only stayed at sarh's house for like 30 minutes then we went over to carolyns and watched legally blonde sarah and carolyn have seen that movie way to much they could like ecite the whole movie

i had to leave carolyns around 3:30 to go and get all my football stuff at hammond that was pretty borin but ti was still fun hangin out w/ every1 umm nm happened after that just came bak here and talked to people

im startin to like some1 but im not gonna say who cuz i dont want her to think i like her for sure. im really not sure and im completely over jessica. o well i guess only time will give em the answers im lookin for

i got some new cleats and im tryin to break them in so i can use them on sunday
http://www.adidas.com/verticals/football/us/S1.asp?ArticleNum=041597&Country=us&Sport=FB theres a pic of them for any1 who cares

so now im gonna go bak outside and try and break tem in some more.

later -tommy

Current Mood: hopeful

Current Music: for you by smile empty soul sorry for steain ur song jordan

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Aug. 11th, 2004

10:50 pm

yay im home! the beach was awesome seein all my cousins and hangin with him was great we i saved my nephews life twice in 20 minutes today im so proud of myself
the first time there was this huge wave comin in and we had him out there with us and hes not a very good swimmer so anyway this huge ass wave comes and i swear it was like 6 feet and it crashes like two yards in front of us but brilliant me grabbed him ran at the wave and then just kinda "gently" threw him over it ok so mayb that didnt exactly save his life but the second time im pretty sure i did i was ridin waves in my kayak and i caught this huge wave and i was goin really fast and then i look up and theres my nephew like right in front of me so i do this thing i dont exactly kno how i did it but i jumped of the kayak turned around and kicked the back so it turned away from him but that was really scary so after that litle mishap i put the kayak up

o yea and we went creek walkin with my nephews they were hialrious ellis (the 2 year old one) saw a crab and chased it around for like 5 minutes then he picked up a golfball (i dunno y but there were like 5 layin around) and pegged the crab i swear that kid has the best arm ive ever seen for a 2 year old and he has the best reflexes ive ever seen my grandma was fishin and she caught this little tiny fish and she was showin it to him thne she dropped it in water by mistake and he dove and caught it b4 it could swim away i was like holy shit how did he do that i mean i dont even think my reflexes as good as his

so after all of that i came home and went to see the village with jordan tess carl and det it was fun cept the movie sucked it wasnt scary at all which sucked cuz i wanted it to b really scary but o well

tomorrow ad is comin over were goin to the football meetin thing and gettin all our equipment

ok thats enough for tonight im gonna go watch tv or somethin
- tommy

Current Mood: content

Current Music: hold up by murphy lee

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Aug. 7th, 2004

04:14 pm

im in the best mood ive been in in a long time. woke up round 10:30 had a doughnut (god ive missed those) got ready for socccer had team pictures boring stuff then we got to scrimmage saras team that was great we won 3-0 and i scored one i prolly shoulda had two more but sara said she hates when i score so i "missed on purpose" to make her feel better

yea so after that we rested for like 15 minutes then played the u-15 boys team who were pretty good but we beat them i only had one shot that game but it was the game-winner we beat them 2-1 things just seem to b goin my way today ill probably hav thomas or some1 spend the night tonight i dunno yet

but right now im bout to go swimmin ill probably hav another entry tongiht but if not o well yall can survive
-tommy

Current Mood: cheerful

Current Music: welcome back by mase

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12:13 am - song time

it felt like forever
felt like it would never go away
we were together
but all of that ended today
and i kno my lifes not over
but the pain is just so great
its almost unbearable
but this is my twisted fate


but all of that ended tonight
when we had our one and only fight
and u were gone forever
never to b with me again
and now we say we r still friends
but is that gonna end
only time will tell
yea only time will tell

id normally write more but i dont feel like it right now i might add more later
wow that song made it seem like i was gonna kill myself i dont feel that bad i mean it hurts but it isnt like suicidal its just the hurt that comes with breakin up well at least i can b optimistic and say that when me and jessica broke up it coulda been alot worse then it was and im glad we r at least still friends

im really tired and i hav a whole day of soccer tomorrow so il talk to yall then
-tommy

Current Mood: sad

Current Music: all she wrote by default

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Aug. 6th, 2004

10:06 pm - im ready for the world to stop turnin cuz i wanna get off

yea so i just got back from trenholm plaza with catherine john and sara matt was there to but only for like 5 minutes so we just hung out and talked went to starbucks and then we saw robert and the hoovers and a bunch of other people but i cant remember all of them it was fun especially cuz thats all ive done all day and yes jordan we will do it agai on sunday when u r home

my dad picked me up round 9:30 and we went to publix and we picked up some cream sodas and some beef jerky so i got home round 9:40 and called jessica that conversation lasted bout two seconds b/c she said hold on a sec then hung up so i waited for her to call bak but did that ever happen... no

but o well its fine now cuz she tried to call me bak but my gay phone didnt ring so w/e i guess right now i just take everythin to seriously i dunno wuts wrong with me i think a few slaps to the face wouldnt hurt

im gona go get a cream soda now that seems to get me in a good mood for some reason i think im gonan b a seriosu alcoholic when i grow up lol
-tommy

Current Mood: pissed off

Current Music: easier to run by linkin park

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12:33 pm

so far today has just been great.... i woke up at 7:30 to the sound of the yard guy mowin the lawn and it so loud that i couldnt go bak to sleep so i went and took a shower but all the hot water was used up so that didnt last long. my mom is goin to visit my sister in new orleans and so i had tp carry all her stuff to the car which wouldntve been bad cept the suitcase with most of her stuff wasnt zipped so when i picked it up everythin fell out. by the time everythin was repacked i was like 15 minutes late to takin the ssat's for boarding school those were really boring but it only took me 2 hours and it was sposed to take so 4 so thats good. the highlight of my morning though was definetely gettin to go to starbux i missed it so much today looks to b another boring day in the life of me hopefully i wont spend all day in my house but i prolly will

im really hungry right now so im gonna go get somethin to eat.

Current Mood: bored

Current Music: runaway by linkin park

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Aug. 5th, 2004